The Mighty ThumbWho is it that gives man his power?
Who is the foundation of society?
Who is the one that gave man the power over nature?
I did! I, the mighty thumb!
Without me you'd be nothing! You'd still be living in terror
at night as the jackals and hyenas hunt you in the darkness!
No internets, no Jersey Shore reruns, no PORN!
Nothing you know and love today would be possible
How am I repaid? How do you thank the one who made
this all possible?
I'm used to roll boogers!
I'm in Thumb Wrestling Federations!
I'm sucked on by babies!
Don't you tell me you're smart and well to do because of your
Donkies has better brains!!!
You don't see donkeys making space ships do you? No! Because they
don't have thumbs and that's why they're so moody!
I am the Mighty Thumb! Obey me!
Ruby Zombie FighterThere was this phat chick named Ruby and she was fighting zombies with her huge robot cock and the sun was made out of green marshmallows and the clouds were full of worms and peanut butter.
Nobody knew it was Tuesday so they all failed the test and the planet was set on fire. That made all the cyber dolphins sad, so they died and no one cared because the library was closed.
Ruby ended up being a pregnant prom queen.